Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Whataburger, or as we call it in my circle, The W. The name should resonate with every man, woman and child in Texas. Why? It's the best fast food burger that you can get in the state.

We will begin with a quick question. Where do you go when you want a burger at 3:30 in the morning? Whataburger, of course. Where do you go when you just don't have time to drive all around this monstrosity of a town to get a delicious cheeseburger? Whataburger, of course. Where do you go when you are stuck on the interstate during a long road trip? Rest easy, that next small Texas town has an orange W waiting for you. They have over 700 restaurants, all open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and there is one in just about every town of note in the Bluebonnet state.

The burger? It's an elephantine 5-inch beef circle dressed however you like it. I am particularly fond of the Double Meat with no onions, extra pickles, grilled jalepenos and cheese. All of this with a side of their fries and 32 ounces of Diet Coke, which is more soda than any human being could ever need in a day.

Me and mine? We love Whataburger. It's a staple. It absolutely crushes all the competition when there isn't any time to cook at home. Not many days go by without the craving, although willpower to not look like America's Next Top Fatty usually wins out. I have even managed to procure a Honey BBQ Chicken Sandwich tshirt from a friend who works for them in San Antonio. It is worn often, with a sense of pride that really isn't even mine.

Let's talk about Whataburger Fancy Ketchup. It's Fancy. There are many pretenders to the throne, but there is only one true master. Hands down the best ketchup that I've ever put in my yap. I'll never understand the few people I have met who do not like it. It even comes in convenient ready-to-drown-your-fries packaging that makes silly plastic packets cry in their sleep. I don't think I'll ever understand why they don't sell the hell out of it in stores, I'd buy it by the bottle. Want to know a trick to make something similar to Whataketchup? Mix lots of garlic into some Heinz. BOOM! Done. Poor man's Whataburger Ketchup.

So, what happens if you just woke up and aren't ready for a #1 combination? Whataburger breakfast. Taquitos are the name of the game. Then, when you really want to get yourself a step closer to that triple bypass, there's no tastier way to start a morning than a bacon, egg and cheese taquito and a honey butter chicken biscuit.

Go to Find your closest location. Go get a combination meal and enjoy the finest fast food burger that the United States of America has to offer.

P.S. In-N-Out doesn't have jack on The W.

Note: This is not officially being considered a stop on the "Find the Best Burger in Houston" tour. This is a cheap cop-out because this weekend was spent celebrating the eighth anniversary of my 18th birthday. We will return to our regular programming for next week's post.

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