Lankford Grocery

This week's review covers what has been by far and away the most recommended burger in the city. Since we started the website we have had a ton of recommendations for places to go. Usually someone just recommends one of their favorite places and a few places they've heard of, and that's how we have assembled the list of places we plan on going. Lankford had about ten different people telling us we needed to go there when the next most recommendations came sliding in at a not nearly as impressive two. Expectations were incredibly high.


We showed up and found the place to be the absolute definition of a dive. Just walking up you get a patio shaded by very old trees, which seem to have moved the foundation around because the entire restaurant seems to have a tilt to it. Then you make it inside and notice and some of the roof beams are seperating. Red, white and blue tablecloths and nothing inside seemed newer than 1985 except for a picture of Guy Fieri's big fat bleached blonde head. Apparently he likes the burgers. The decor was described perfectly as "America".

What do we order? Chicken strips? HA! 3 bigass cheeseburgers are en route to our table. Before they come out though, in a little disappointing fashion, the sodas come out. In cans. No free refills. It's 2009 and this is America, my fat ass requires no less than three full 32 oz glasses of Diet Coke fresh out of a soda fountain. To compensate, I upgraded my beverage to a Shiner Smokehaus. Delicious!

The burgers come out wrapped up in 3 pieces of parchment paper in a classic all american plastic burger basket. They are huge. Definitely a double fister. I take the easy way out and cut the beast in half. I didn't order any fries, but at the table there is an order of fries and an order of onion rings within reach. Time to bite into what I am convinced is going to be the best burger I've ever devoured.

The burger is great. The bun was lightly toasted, and strangely only half covered in sesame seeds on every single burger that came out. I had to go looking for the slice of cheese, but only because the burger was so big that a slice of cheese doesn't cover all of the real estate. The vegetables were thick and generously applied.

The patty is obviously formed by hand and it crumbles apart in your mouth without really even needing to bite into it. As soon as your teeth are in the bread, you have tiny little pieces of meat rolling off onto your tongue, almost as if they want to chew themselves. This behavior is something I approve of wholeheartedly. The burger does have a little bit of drip action, but the juice doesn't really run like what I would expect out of something I would label a greaseburger, which isn't a criticism at all, just take it and apply that fact to your personal taste. They don't seem to be very drippy because they are obviously cooked over an open flame, at least, that's what the scorch marks lead me to believe since I didn't really taste any smokey flavor, except in my beer.

Was anything truly bad at Lankford? Yep. Hands down, Lankford Grocery serves up the worst french fries I've ever tasted. Imagine getting a bag of frozen french fries from Wendy's, undercooking them and then putting absolutely no seasoning on them whatsoever. Gross? Yes. Plain, soggy fries are unacceptable, but nevertheless, that's Lankford's super secret french fry recipe. On the other hand, the onion rings were great. Whenever I find myself back here, that's definitely the side I am going with.

The question though, is this burger the best burger I've ever had? No. It's very, very good but as for where we stand on our burger reviews I would rather go to Backyard Grill, and as an added bonus, they are open at dinner time whereas Lankford shuts down right at 3pm and takes the weekend off.

See you next week folks!!