Cedar Creek

After a week off, the craving struck again. Needed a burger. What kind of burger? A big, fat nasty (read: juicy and delicious) bar-style burger. We started a short list of bars that we wanted to go hit that we knew served burgers and quickly dwindled it down to Cedar Creek, mostly because it's my absolute favorite beer spot in Houston.

Cedar Creek is a bar among bars. It's tucked back from the main roads, surrounded by lots of big trees and has a huge patio that literally pulls up right to a creek. They have a really nice draft wall including several Texan beers, including 4 kinds of Shiner, 4 kinds of Saint Arnold, Lone Star, and heck, you can even get a can of Pearl if you want it. The weather has been absolutely amazing so the need to sit on that patio and chew some cow while sipping on Shiner Hefeweizen was on the front of my mind.

Our group rolled into Cedar Creek right at dusk on a Wednesday night. We quickly learned that half of the city also had the need to drink beers on the best bar patio in town and spent a few minutes fighting for a table. We got ourselves to a picnic table and grabbed some menus. Lots of burger options. We dropped our order in for a Blue Hog burger that is topped with blue cheese and bacon, a Mushroom Swiss burger and a Dutchess that comes with chili and extra onions.

This is where things go wrong. Cedar Creek was absolutely slammed. We waited over an hour for food simply because it was obvious that they were overrun with demand. Still, the food that was coming out of the kitchen looked absolutely amazing.

Then the burgers arrived and things changed. The burgers arrived and looked delicious. However, one bite in and all that we could taste was bread. Two bites in and we tasted bread and a little bit of smoke. Three bites in and we didn't find any other flavor. It was completely dry, if not burnt. The condiments were spread very thin and didn't really add any flavor. A high point? The vegetables were very fresh. Topping the burger with full spears of pickle was especially nice. Unfortunately, the freshness of the vegetables stops impressing once you realize that there is more lettuce on your burger than there is meat.

Did you watch The Matrix? Remember the scene where they are eating protein goop in the ship's dining room? That's what I would imagine the burger tasted like, except burnt. Cedar Creek has officially beaten me in creating a burger inspired by an elephant graveyard in the middle of a desert. Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I don't know if that's the standard burger at Cedar Creek or if the chef was asleep at the wheel, but the ownership should seriously reprimand, if not flat out fire whoever is ultimately responsible for what we were served depending on if what we received was the usual fare. It was a nine dollar burger that made me want nothing more than to go down the street to Burger King and get a Whopper. Sad, but true. I'd rather have a Whopper.

Cedar Creek does have some very tasty food options. We also had an order of their sloppy nachos at the table and an order of fried pickles. They were fantastic. We all agreed that the fried pickles were some of the best that we have ever had and that the nachos were showstopping. I'm already craving a gigantic tray of them not even 24 hours later.

So, what was learned? Cedar Creek is still a fantastic bar. I love it. Everyone that came along liked the atmosphere, the beer selection is great and there are lots of decent food options. We'll all go back. Often. What will we not do? Order a burger. If I needed a burger I'd work the Han Solo angle and smuggle in a #1 combination from Whataburger to go with my beer. Not surprisingly, Cedar Creek is rocking last place on the quest for the best burger in the city. Not even close to any other place that we have been.

The quest goes on...

NOTE: Yes, this post is picture free. While the burgers looked great, they tasted awful, and pictures wouldn't do them any justice. Executive decision. I never claimed I'd be fair. I am interested if anyone else has ever had their burger and would like to chime in with their thoughts about it. Did we get a fluke? Does it always suck? What's the deal?

Mytiburger

Tuesday night burger? You betcha! Today's stop was decided by a recommendation we received at the Houston Burgers twitter account. We were sent to Mytiburger which is at 2211 W 43rd St, see it on the burger map.

You arrive in a parking lot which has nothing but a teeny tiny little burger stand. It's old. You can tell it moved in at least 20 or 25 years ago. It may look like a dive, but it is very clean and well maintained.

Inside the itty-bitty restaurant they have about 3 tables and a booth to complement the 4 picnic tables they have outside. The entire place is decorated in Coca-Cola. The tables, walls, fixtures, even some of the chairs were all branded with the soda, making it pretty obvious I wasn't going to be getting my hands on a Diet Pepsi on this trip. The place is a three person mom and pop operation during peak dinner hour. They had a cook, someone taking the orders and an extra hand running around trying to look busy.

What do we order? The group gets 4 Mytiburgers with cheese. Three of us opted for standard fries but Mytiburger also serves up sweet potato fries and one of us grabbed an order of those. Then Coca-Cola and Diet Coke all around. We had to go easy on the sodas though, Mytiburger charges 50 cents for a refill and they sure do put a lot of ice in your cup. We grabbed a table outside to enjoy the arrival of some cooler weather and began the wait.

Ten minutes of waiting were rewarded with two little white lunch sacks packed with burgers and fries. We divied it out and quickly began chowing down. What were we rewarded with? One of the absolute best old-fashioned burgers we've ever had. I need to stress the word old-fashioned. This isn't the best burger that we've had on this trip, but much like Otto's Barbecue, these burgers have that classic flavor that you can only really seem to get from older, more traditional burger stands. You could draw a good comparison with Whataburger. The Mytiburger tastes exactly like the absolute best Whataburger that you could ever put in your mouth, the Nick creature even declared that the burger was probably exactly what the W tasted like back when it was a little burger stand in Corpus Christi. Every single item I could touch on compares almost exactly to Whataburger. The bun, the veggies, the patty, everything is just like Whataburger only a little bit better. Even the grease level was about the same. Bonus points? They don't put mayo on their burgers. Mustard only. Other burger joints should take some notes.

The french fries were standard, fat, plain fries. I had to douse mine in salt, pepper and ketchup to give them any flavor. More bonus points? Old school red ketchup squeezebottles. Even more bonus points? It was nearly empty so I could make a few immature fart jokes. Unlike the regular fries, the sweet potato fries were, to sum it up in a word, badass. Crispy, thin and a refreshing change to the usual fries and onion rings. I recommend that anyone who hits up Mytiburger try them at least once.

The verdict? As we've already noted, this burger is fantastic, but it didn't hit home enough to make us declare it the best burger in Houston. It lands smack dab in the middle of all of the competition so far, although for a more classic tasting burger, you cant go wrong with Mytiburger. Wait, last minute bonus points? Yes. Ladies, if you ever need a burger with a view, Mytiburger is conveniently right next door to a fire station. The girls didn't seem to have much to contribute to the conversation during the meal... almost as if they were distracted by something. Just sayin'.....

See you next week!!

(UPDATE 9/3/2009: We stand corrected. Sources say this building came outta the 50's.)

Goodson's Cafe

We were fast approaching deadline this week and had to get to a burger joint fast. So we jump on 249, a freeway that has yet to get any love on the site, and we went out in search of the American classic. We ended up stopping at Goodson's Cafe, which is a restaurant I have been to several times in my day because they are known for having one of the best chicken fried steaks money can buy. We decide to go inside and test the burger.

When we get in, you instantly realize that you are in a southern restuarant. The place is lined with anything and everything cowboy related that you can imagine. We are seated in a booth and handed menus that boast about two things. They claim to serve the world's best chicken fried steak and then they also plug the world's best double bacon cheeseburger. Nick orders one and I opt for the mushroom/grilled onion burger while our lady friends order up their world famous chicken fried steaks.

The burgers made their way to the table and as soon as they were put in front of us we knew we were in for something special. The grease was already bleeding out all over the plate. What was inside the bleeding corpse? The "world famous" burger was 2 patties totaling one pound of ground beef, a griddle toasted bun, lettuce, pickle, and sauteed onions with mayonnaise. The mushroom burger I ordered was the same thing except minus one of the half pound patties and with mushrooms, of course. I also opted for mustard because mayonnaise is terrible. It was time to dig in!

Upon first bite we knew we had stumbled upon something special. We hadn't even really planned on going to this restaurant any time in the near future, but almost as if by providence we both wound up with a mouthful of one of the most heavenly cheeseburgers we had ever tasted. Before even swallowing that first bite we were talking, with our mouths full, about how this burger had just bested every other burger that we've tasted thus far. The grease was everywhere. Napkins couldn't fly fast enough. The grilled onions were caramelized and seasoned to give off a little bit of a sweet flavor while the patty contrasted with a somewhat peppery, very intense, and very juicy beef flavor that just about blew the brains out of the backs of our skulls. All this time, the buckets of grease combined the flavors throughout the toppings, spread and bun resulting in a taste that will roll your eyes into the back of your head. Best burger we have had so far.

We almost need to award a prize over the fact that Goodson's Cafe is the first burger joint out of all of the places we have been to that actually cooked a burger medium when ordered. Everywhere else we have been has just cranked out medium-well as if born to do it, no matter what you ordered. Some of these places you could tell them to just run some raw meat on a plate through a warm room and you'd still get medium well. Not Goodson's. You get what you want.

How were the side dishes? The french fries, while looking very plain in the photo, were fried to a nice crispy finish. They weren't as gamechanging as their burger was, but they were delicious, which is refreshing because minus the Backyard Grill, we've found that the better the burger the worse the fries.

So, what are you waiting for? If you are craving a cheeseburger, you need to head out 249 towards Tomball and sink your teeth into one of Houston's finest. Check the burger map for the location and enjoy.

P.O.'s Burgers

P.O.s Burgers is the next stop on the quest for the ultimate cheeseburger. It's a middle-of-nowhere burger stop that's in Cypress, TX which is a little almost-suburb of Houston. The restaurant itself is an offshoot of a country bar and dance hall that's attached to the back of the building. The sign promises the world's best burgers. So we went in to see if they can stand up to their claims.
When you walk in, you walk into what was obviously a bar at some point. A bar stretches around the L-shaped dining area and behind it there is a griddle and some fryers where the food is prepared. There were a lot of old, dusty beer signs and memorabilia on the walls of the dining area. which was made up of wooden picnic tables. In fact, when you really take a look around, you realize that the entire place is either dead trees or scrap metal

Taking a look at the menu, they offer the usual selection of hamburgers, cheeseburgers and bacon cheeseburgers, but they also have buffalo, ostrich and turkey burgers. Their specialty is the P.O. burger which is a mushroom, bacon and swiss burger with mayo and lettuce only. All of them are offered up in 1/4 lb and 1/2 lb sizes. You can also get specialty buns that weren't unloaded off of a truck that are made out of fresh baked white, wheat or jalepeno cheese breads.

Deciding that the place needed to be judged based on their namesake burger, I ordered the P.O. burger with fries on the jalepeno cheese bun. They asked me what kind of fries I wanted, and I had to ask what they had. This was a mistake because the list weighs in at about six hundred different varieties. They have french fries, waffle fries, cheese fries, cajun fries, curly fries, steak fries, onion fries (which are really just onion rings) and tater tots. If you have a specific way you like your deep fried potatoes, P.O.'s has it.

While waiting for the food to come out we noticed two things that made us really anticipate the perfect, hole in the wall, middle of nowhere, mom and pop cheeseburger. The ketchup bottle and the roof. The ketchup was the most generic bottle of tomato paste we'd ever seen and then the roof? Completely made of tin. It definitely brought that small town feeling to a place not very far from the big city.

Before the burgers made their way out I also noted that I might have found the worst soda fountain in the city. I'm used to a soda fountain dumping too much carbonated water in the drink, but too much syrup? This was new, and it wasn't much of a treat. The Diet Coke was overpowering and then when I tried the Coca-Cola Classic I was greeted with the same super sweet flavor I was trying to escape. I stuck with it though, as I didn't want to venture a guess as to how old the iced tea was.

Our number was called and the burgers were on their way out. They come in good-ol' red baskets, wrapped in butcher paper that the grease has eaten almost completely through. It's definitely the juiciest burger we've seen short of the Gut Bomb from Otto's Barbecue. First bite? FANTASTIC!! The place may not have great amenities, they might have terrible soda, they might have ketchup manufactured in China that contains lead and asbestos, but the burger was something else.

The first taste I got was sweet. The jalepeno cheese bread had a little bit of sugar in it to make it a sweet kind of bread and it melted in my mouth with the assistance of the grease from the patty. That taste gave way to the flavor of bacon, mushrooms, cheese and mayonnaise, which is a condiment I usually despise, but in this case the combination of bread, grease and vegetables came together and produced one of the richest flavors I have ever gotten out of a burger. Then the patty. It hits just when you don't think your tastebuds can take much more, suddenly blending fresh cow in with all the flavors that you've already experienced.

We all quickly agree that this is one of the best burgers we've had so far despite the rest of the places shortcomings. I was convinced it was one of the best we've had and struggled to rank it while Nick quickly declared it the new silver medalist in our search. I couldn't disagree. Once again we are still convinced that Backyard Grill has them beat, but P.O.'s put the stomp on all the other competition we have found so far, including the legendary Lankford Grocery and our old second favorite, Otto's BBQ.

Check the map and give P.O.'s a try for yourself. It's a fantastic burger that will probably become one of your staples, especially if you live out on the northwest side.

Lankford Grocery

This week's review covers what has been by far and away the most recommended burger in the city. Since we started the website we have had a ton of recommendations for places to go. Usually someone just recommends one of their favorite places and a few places they've heard of, and that's how we have assembled the list of places we plan on going. Lankford had about ten different people telling us we needed to go there when the next most recommendations came sliding in at a not nearly as impressive two. Expectations were incredibly high.


We showed up and found the place to be the absolute definition of a dive. Just walking up you get a patio shaded by very old trees, which seem to have moved the foundation around because the entire restaurant seems to have a tilt to it. Then you make it inside and notice and some of the roof beams are seperating. Red, white and blue tablecloths and nothing inside seemed newer than 1985 except for a picture of Guy Fieri's big fat bleached blonde head. Apparently he likes the burgers. The decor was described perfectly as "America".

What do we order? Chicken strips? HA! 3 bigass cheeseburgers are en route to our table. Before they come out though, in a little disappointing fashion, the sodas come out. In cans. No free refills. It's 2009 and this is America, my fat ass requires no less than three full 32 oz glasses of Diet Coke fresh out of a soda fountain. To compensate, I upgraded my beverage to a Shiner Smokehaus. Delicious!

The burgers come out wrapped up in 3 pieces of parchment paper in a classic all american plastic burger basket. They are huge. Definitely a double fister. I take the easy way out and cut the beast in half. I didn't order any fries, but at the table there is an order of fries and an order of onion rings within reach. Time to bite into what I am convinced is going to be the best burger I've ever devoured.

The burger is great. The bun was lightly toasted, and strangely only half covered in sesame seeds on every single burger that came out. I had to go looking for the slice of cheese, but only because the burger was so big that a slice of cheese doesn't cover all of the real estate. The vegetables were thick and generously applied.

The patty is obviously formed by hand and it crumbles apart in your mouth without really even needing to bite into it. As soon as your teeth are in the bread, you have tiny little pieces of meat rolling off onto your tongue, almost as if they want to chew themselves. This behavior is something I approve of wholeheartedly. The burger does have a little bit of drip action, but the juice doesn't really run like what I would expect out of something I would label a greaseburger, which isn't a criticism at all, just take it and apply that fact to your personal taste. They don't seem to be very drippy because they are obviously cooked over an open flame, at least, that's what the scorch marks lead me to believe since I didn't really taste any smokey flavor, except in my beer.

Was anything truly bad at Lankford? Yep. Hands down, Lankford Grocery serves up the worst french fries I've ever tasted. Imagine getting a bag of frozen french fries from Wendy's, undercooking them and then putting absolutely no seasoning on them whatsoever. Gross? Yes. Plain, soggy fries are unacceptable, but nevertheless, that's Lankford's super secret french fry recipe. On the other hand, the onion rings were great. Whenever I find myself back here, that's definitely the side I am going with.

The question though, is this burger the best burger I've ever had? No. It's very, very good but as for where we stand on our burger reviews I would rather go to Backyard Grill, and as an added bonus, they are open at dinner time whereas Lankford shuts down right at 3pm and takes the weekend off.

See you next week folks!!

Whataburger

Whataburger, or as we call it in my circle, The W. The name should resonate with every man, woman and child in Texas. Why? It's the best fast food burger that you can get in the state.

We will begin with a quick question. Where do you go when you want a burger at 3:30 in the morning? Whataburger, of course. Where do you go when you just don't have time to drive all around this monstrosity of a town to get a delicious cheeseburger? Whataburger, of course. Where do you go when you are stuck on the interstate during a long road trip? Rest easy, that next small Texas town has an orange W waiting for you. They have over 700 restaurants, all open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and there is one in just about every town of note in the Bluebonnet state.

The burger? It's an elephantine 5-inch beef circle dressed however you like it. I am particularly fond of the Double Meat with no onions, extra pickles, grilled jalepenos and cheese. All of this with a side of their fries and 32 ounces of Diet Coke, which is more soda than any human being could ever need in a day.

Me and mine? We love Whataburger. It's a staple. It absolutely crushes all the competition when there isn't any time to cook at home. Not many days go by without the craving, although willpower to not look like America's Next Top Fatty usually wins out. I have even managed to procure a Honey BBQ Chicken Sandwich tshirt from a friend who works for them in San Antonio. It is worn often, with a sense of pride that really isn't even mine.

Let's talk about Whataburger Fancy Ketchup. It's Fancy. There are many pretenders to the throne, but there is only one true master. Hands down the best ketchup that I've ever put in my yap. I'll never understand the few people I have met who do not like it. It even comes in convenient ready-to-drown-your-fries packaging that makes silly plastic packets cry in their sleep. I don't think I'll ever understand why they don't sell the hell out of it in stores, I'd buy it by the bottle. Want to know a trick to make something similar to Whataketchup? Mix lots of garlic into some Heinz. BOOM! Done. Poor man's Whataburger Ketchup.

So, what happens if you just woke up and aren't ready for a #1 combination? Whataburger breakfast. Taquitos are the name of the game. Then, when you really want to get yourself a step closer to that triple bypass, there's no tastier way to start a morning than a bacon, egg and cheese taquito and a honey butter chicken biscuit.

Go to Whataburger.com. Find your closest location. Go get a combination meal and enjoy the finest fast food burger that the United States of America has to offer.

P.S. In-N-Out doesn't have jack on The W.

Note: This is not officially being considered a stop on the "Find the Best Burger in Houston" tour. This is a cheap cop-out because this weekend was spent celebrating the eighth anniversary of my 18th birthday. We will return to our regular programming for next week's post.

Otto's Barbecue, or The Gut Bomb

Today we ventured inside the loop, originally planning on stopping off at Christian's Tailgate, but upon realizing they were closed on Sunday, we headed straight for the nearby Otto's Barbecue. It is located on 5502 Memorial Dr in the 77007. Check the map.

There was a lot of anticipation in going to Otto's. While working a contract job a few weeks ago I was told a story about Otto's serving up a burger called the Gut Bomb. It was described as Otto's special burger, which was two patties, two slices of cheese, a fat glob of chili and a solid half of an onion, diced, all between two griddle toasted patties. The legend stated that it came wrapped in three pieces of wax paper because it ate through the first two pieces and that even once you unwrapped it the only real way to consume it without looking like a toddler in front of his first bowl of spaghetti is to eat it with a fork. The record for containing the sheer kinetic force of the gut bomb? Two hours. Legen-wait for it-dary.

We walk into the restaurant and it is a total dive. It's definitely the kind of place where cleanliness only means up to code. Cool with us, it gives a place character, and we firmly believe that when we find the best burger in the city it could very well come out of the trunk of a burnt out automobile. We walked up to the counter and were greeted by an incredibly cool old guy that promptly offered up a chili burger that would "take care of ya ass" when he heard us discussing it. The reply? Bring it on.

None of us knew exactly what was going to come out of that kitchen, but our number was called and today's case was revealed to be an amazing pile of what would make some men beg for more and others turn away in disgust. Because we were eating in the restaurant, it didn't come out wrapped in three pieces of wax paper, it came on a plate, which differed from every other burger we were served. It also came with a fork. This would also prove to be essential.

The burgers all turned out to be fantastic. They came off of a griddle, so none of the juices or grease had the chance to escape. The flavor was rich and almost overwhelming to the palate, just like most greaseburgers tend to be when they haven't had a chance to bleed out. All of us finished our burgers with puddles in the bottoms of our basket as the only sign that food once occupied the area. Veggies were cold and crisp, with the exception of the mushrooms, which were obviously taken out of a jar and thrown on the griddle. Diet Coke was ice cold. Appetites were satisfied.

The burgers were all served with a side of crinkle fries. Thinking about it, it has been years since I can remember being in a place that served them up. Historically I've hated them simply because I always seemed to get a batch of them that were soggy and flavorless. Otto's was different. He fried the hell out his potatoes. They were really crispy. They didn't come out seasoned but a salt shaker at the table took care of what had been left undone. The onion rings were, simply put, badass. They were in a slightly sweet batter that really lent flavor to the onion within. Everyone should order them. Every time.

So, was the entire Gut Bomb finished? Yes. Once again, Nick stepped up to the plate and slayed the beast. Did it live up to it's legend? Yes and no. There was one dissapointing fact about the burger. The chili was simply wolf brand chili, which is definitely a let down, although it is still delicious. You just can't sneak canned chili by a man here in the South. We still agreed it was a monster of a burger, and it even managed to live up to it's digestive legend, although details will not be discussed.

We all walked out of Otto's completely satisfied. On another great note, the price is stellar. You can go to Otto's for the same cost of going to Burger King. I'd probably hurt myself at this place if it was much closer to my house. How does it rank among the places we've been so far? It's up there with the best, although we agreed that we'd probably go to Backyard Grill again first. What should you take away from this? You need to get yourself to Otto's and get yourself a greaseburger.