Christian's Tailgate

Christian's Tailgate, much like Lankford Grocery, is heralded as one of the finest burgers that Houston has to offer. Most people that I have talked to that recommend the place either claim it's one of the best they've ever had or that it's a staple that we simply have to make sure we don't ignore. It's about time the reviews came back, and Christian's seemed as good a place as any to go throw down on some cow.


There are two Christian's locations in Houston. One is on Bagby and the other is at I-10 and Washington. Being from the 'burbs, and being told that the one on Washington is better, we set sail. When you get there, you quickly put together that Christian's is the definition of a burger bar. You walk in and it offers a lot of restaurant style seating, but the place is more bar than restaurant. You order your burgers at the bar, along with your pitcher of beer, and then you find your seat and wait for your number to be called. The decor includes lots of small screen TV's around the place, beer signs and a really cool old truck that's been hacked up and thrown on the wall. Get there early, as parking seems like it could get hairy during busier hours.

Their menu stretches 3 sizes of burger: 1/3 lb, 1/2 lb and a belt-busting 1 lb double burger. They offer them in your standard dress of lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, mustard and mayo as well as a chili burger or a mushroom-swiss combination. If you're looking for something a little different, and a little more heart stopping, they also offer up a Chicken Fried Bacon Burger. The burger is your standard burger that is loaded with battered and fried bacon and onion rings. Nick wasn't about to let a little heart disease stand in his way and threw down for one of these beastly creations while I opted for a more subtle mushroom swiss burger. Both of us ordered a side of fries and with it being $5 pitcher Wendesday we enjoyed a pitcher of Texas's own Lone Star and then another of Shiner Bock with our meal.

The burgers that came out looked fantastic. Great big patties adorned with generous toppings and packed between thick buns that are then half-wrapped in butcher paper to keep them from falling apart. Good call on the paper. I've always been a fan of anything that makes finger food easier to handle.

That first bite? It lacked a little something. Grease. Considering the huge griddle that we saw in the kitchen we were expecting these things to run down our arms, but they were really clean. The meat tasted great. It didn't seemed to be seasoned at all, maybe with just a little salt and pepper, but it left behind a clean, distinct flavor that actually left room for all of the toppings to actually be able to do some work. I'd tread lightly with using the word bland, because the overall flavor was far from it, but I wouldn't ever want to knife and fork the patty by itself. This is where the toppings came into play. The mustard works its way into the lettuce and tomatoes, the pickles were thick and vinegary and in each bite you really got to appreciate why people actually bother putting veggies on their sandwiches. Most of the time a big, fat, nasty greaseburger will simply overwhelm the palate and all you taste is delicious, juicy fat. This was the opposite. An explosion of different and very distinct flavors await the person who eats at Christian's.

As a person who has had homemade chicken fried bacon on a few occasions in my life, the prospect of a burger with chicken fried bacon actually on it sounded both terrible and awesome. I remember the first time I ever had it I ate 3 pieces of it drizzled in bacon grazy and was only capable of stumbling around the house for a few hours as I fought off The Itis. The chicken fried bacon here did leave a little to be desired. Yes, it's delicious. It's bacon that is battered and fried. But, much like the mostly pure burger, there couldn't have been anything in the batter except flour, milk and egg. This produced a product that tasted more like oil than any kind of fancy deep fried concoction that you might hope for. It was also definitely cooked a lot less than we were used to compared to every other time we've had the CFB. How about the burger? Put it all together and it once again leaps to something wonderful, but it just seems like there is so much room for improvement.

The burgers were cooked well, not well done, but well. They were far from dry, in fact, for how cooked the meat was I was suprised at just how juicy the burger was. The bun was definitely prefabbed, but seemed to be very lightly toasted on the griddle and did a fine job of not leaving anything to be desired. Recommendations? Double up on your toppings. Next time I eat here it will probably be the same burger, but with double cheese and double mushrooms.

The fries? Absolutely terrible. Wendy's on a bad day levels of terrible. I was salvaging mine with salt, pepper and ketchup mixed with Jalapeno Tabasco sauce. This was able to pull them back from the cliff, but still, Christian's Tailgate is definitely not the place to go if you are a fry fanatic. They also offer onion rings, but neither of us ordered them. A visual inspection of someone else's basket of rings did leave me with some hope that there is a side dish in there worth ordering.

How would we rank this burger? It was really good. In fact, if you live near it, it should probably be your de facto burger place. It's a great place to eat if you are working in the area, looking for a place to stop and wait out traffic or just want to eat somewhere a little different. You don't really need much of an excuse. Unfortunately, our final judgement does leave it out of the top three. It simply doesn't stand up to the best we've had so far. Our comparisons would be that it was like a really good burger from Clay's or maybe a burger from Miller's with all the grease left out. All we can say is that if you go to Christian's you'll be treated to a damn good burger. Just not the best. Check them out and let us know what you think!!

Rockwell Tavern and Grill

UPDATE (11/15/2011):  We said some rough things about Rockwell Tavern in some posts and tweets since their original review. Statements that we stand by and statements that we aren't going to remove. Since ownership changed we had a total of four meals at Rockwell that were average or worse. I had a chicken sandwich at one time that was so hard you could literally brain a person with it. The burgers? They'd fallen off. Hard. BUT GOOD NEWS: Rockwell did a Houston Beer Week event and I was lured back in with the promise of bottom-feeding some leftover of Rahr & Sons Casked Winter Warmer the next day, and in the course of drinking some beers, I was convinced to give the burgers another go.

Without going into too many details, I am pleased to say that Rockwell once again makes a fantastic burger that lives up to its legacy and I highly recommend stopping in. Their beer selection has gotten really nice too, although shockingly, they appear to have gone the route of forsaking any light beers whatsoever. Even I enjoy a Keystone Light or a Miller Lite ever so often, and I think every place that serves beer should have something at a value price, but I digress, go chow down.

ORIGINAL REVIEW FOLLOWS:
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It's been awhile. It's time to get back on the burger wagon.

I must apologize in advance. This review has zero pictures. The place wasn't well lit enough for cell phone cameras and the regular camera had a dead battery. This is a shame, because this is one of the first times I can remember where the burgers that were brought out of the kitchen looked just as good as the burgers on the menu. Fortunately, we will definitely be back, and we hope to get some pictures of these burgers out to you soon. UPDATE 5/12/2010: Got a new camera, took that sucker to Rockwell, ate a fat cheeseburger, and collected some pics. ENJOY!!

So, we decided to go to the Rockwell Tavern. The original reason we went was simply because it was right next to PO's Burgers. Both of them have signs out front claiming that they had the world's best burger, and it sounded like we needed to go in there and settle it for ourselves, and for the rest of the world. Then, when we decided to fire it back up yesterday we found this glowing review from Houston Press and were suddenly watering at the mouth to get out to Rockwell.

Rockwell Tavern is located in Cypress, within a few miles of Highway 290 and Telge. It's in a very unassuming location smack dab in the middle of a small strip center. Inside are about fifteen or twenty tables, a bar, and a little standing room only area between the two. Tonight when we went in we quickly noticed that the combination of a Tuesday night and Houstonians acting like it doesn't get cold this time of year had the place completely empty. We took our seats and had the full attention of the entire restaurant staff, who were very friendly, for a large portion of our visit.

The restaurant itself is a dive. Not a big deal. It is clean, but the furnishings are old and the decor is definitely "average bar". The exception? The restrooms are decked out in old car parts. The best little touch? The stall in the men's restroom has badging for Dodge's 5.7 liter Hemi engine. It has a strong "you knew what this was when you came in here" kind of vibe.

On their menu they have a ton of custom burgers. Several that break the usual trend. They have burgers with a fried egg, burgers with teriyaki and pineapple, italian style burgers with marinara sauce and even a burger called the "El Diablo" that is so hot that you have to sign a waiver to eat it, but the reward is a free t-shirt. (Next time, honey.)

Our party of three sat down and ordered up an Iron Man burger, a Swiss Goddess and a Samurai burger. The Iron Man was the definitive spicy chili burger. It had a GLOB of habanero-spiced chili, jalapenos and cheese. The Swiss Goddess was a mushroom swiss burger that was advertised as a "pile of mushrooms and cheese" that was very true to its word, and the Samurai burger had Bacon, Pineapples thrown in with a sweet teriyaki sauce. All of them came armed with a 1/2 pound, hand formed patty and was served on a custom sweet sourdough roll.

No time to wait, time to eat. That first bite was a showstopper. The guys at Rockwell don't play generic cheeseburger. Every single flavor that they tell you is on the menu shows up with it's A-game. The flavors are all incredibly rich, which allows you to taste every single ingredient almost seperately. Different parts of your tongue are firing different sparks directly into your brain, all screaming for more. By the time I got to the center, where all the ingredients are concentrated the most, we had all agreed that we had just taken on the best burger we've ever eaten. Not just in Houston, not just on this burger quest, it's the best burger any of us have ever had. Period. And another period for good measure.

Eating it was interesting. The chili burger had entire ladle-fulls of chili with a little habanero kick, so it had to be eaten mostly with a fork. The bun stood no chance of holding back firepower of that magnitude. I almost had the same situation with my burger. By the time I was done with the Samurai burger I had delicious pieces of teriyaki pineapple and bacon ready for my fork and the bun spent the entire time on life support due to the pineapple juice. The mushroom swiss burger left a trail of delicious sauteed mushrooms behind it simply because the bun could not contain them all.

Side dishes? Good news, it gets even better. They have, hands down, some of the best onion rings I have ever had. They are fried up crispier than any onion ring I have ever had, and still aren't burned at all, and the onion doesn't shrivel up and disappear either. The french fries are well above average, nothing too special, but still damn good, and then to top it all off they also have some rocking sweet potato fries.

Stop reading this site and go to Rockwell Tavern and Grill. The quest for the best burger in Houston continues, but we don't know how these burgers could possibly be topped!!! We have adjusted the top 3 on the sidebar. You are now looking at the Rockwell Tavern as the best followed up by Miller's Cafe and then The Backyard Grill.

Miller's Cafe

I feel like I have a confession to make before I write this review. Going into this burger quest, I already had 2 heavy favorites. Shuttle Burger and Miller's Cafe, both places that we didn't go to right away because I wanted to cleanse my palate before going back to my old favorites. Miller's Cafe has a lot of sentimental value for me. They used to have a location in Alief that I used to go to with my grandparents when I was a kid with dreams of tacking a belt-busting double burger.

Now Miller's has three locations that I know of and a fourth that I can't confirm. One is in the Medical Center in Scurlock Tower, one is on Shephard just north of 610, one on Bay Area Blvd way down in League City and there is apparently a fourth in downtown, I'm thinking it may be in the tunnel. The Miller's I usually go to these days is the one on Shephard, and I often end up at the one in the Med Center when I land some work out there, but this review takes place at the one way out in League City.

Nick and I were part of a massive operation on Saturday and Sunday. Clear Creek ISD had a computer virus issue and we both shipped out to go be a part of the solution. Lunchtime came on Saturday and I immediately perked up stating that this was our opportunity to hit up Miller's. We dragged about twenty people into the little burger joint and went to work on getting some cheeseburger goodness.

Miller's is a tried and true burger joint. The menu is hamburger, cheeseburger, mushroom burger, bacon buger, jalepeno burger, chili burger, combinations of the former burgers, doubled up versions of the former burgers and a select few items like chicken sandwiches and a philly cheesesteak. There's a blurry picture on the bottom if you are curious. I ordered up a mushroom swiss burger and Nick brought all guns to bear on a double bacon cheeseburger. I have no idea what Nick drank, but mine was going down the esophageal waterslide with some Diet Pepsi.

Their burgers are massive. You really don't need to bother ordering fries. Even the single patty burger pushes a solid half pound brick of meat with very generous amounts of toppings that are obviously just dropped on by the handful with their standard spread of the popular mustard/mayo combination.

That first bite? It's throws you off a little. It's really good, but the flavor is pretty unique. I have a hard time even coming up with adjectives to describe the flavor that is somehow imparted into the meat outside of generic words like scrumptious. Then you take a second bite and realize that it's for real. It becomes immediately obvious that you just bit into a burger that isn't just a handful of plain or lightly seasoned meat, this stuff is greased up with a fantastic rub, dropped on a hot griddle that sears all of the juices into it and wrapped in the only thing that can contain it... a fresh baked bun that absorbs all the greasy goodness like a sponge and then 2 pieces of butcher paper to ensure that all of it is contained..

They serve up some above average french fries, nothing you'll write home about, but nothing that will dissapoint you. I haven't ever tried the onion rings, and it was Nick's first venture into a Millers and he also downed the fries.

So the ranking? Hell yes it's the best burger so far. We do agree that it only barely edges out the Backyard Grill, which was back on top for a few mere days now that Goodson's has let us down twice in a row after our one amazing experience, leading us to decide that justice must prevail and to dethrone our champion.

Goodson's: Updated

Quick and dirty -- Goodson's is officially dethroned. We have been back two times since we had what we declared was the best burger we've had so far in the city and have found nothing but disappointment. The burger is still good, but it certainly isn't the best, and therefore, we hereby declare that Goodson's is still a decent burger, but no longer in the Top 3. Go get their chicken fried steak instead. It's still a showstopper.

Welcome back to the top Backyard Grill. New top 3 are Backyard Grill, P.O.'s Burgers and Otto's Barbecue. Will it last?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Cedar Creek

After a week off, the craving struck again. Needed a burger. What kind of burger? A big, fat nasty (read: juicy and delicious) bar-style burger. We started a short list of bars that we wanted to go hit that we knew served burgers and quickly dwindled it down to Cedar Creek, mostly because it's my absolute favorite beer spot in Houston.

Cedar Creek is a bar among bars. It's tucked back from the main roads, surrounded by lots of big trees and has a huge patio that literally pulls up right to a creek. They have a really nice draft wall including several Texan beers, including 4 kinds of Shiner, 4 kinds of Saint Arnold, Lone Star, and heck, you can even get a can of Pearl if you want it. The weather has been absolutely amazing so the need to sit on that patio and chew some cow while sipping on Shiner Hefeweizen was on the front of my mind.

Our group rolled into Cedar Creek right at dusk on a Wednesday night. We quickly learned that half of the city also had the need to drink beers on the best bar patio in town and spent a few minutes fighting for a table. We got ourselves to a picnic table and grabbed some menus. Lots of burger options. We dropped our order in for a Blue Hog burger that is topped with blue cheese and bacon, a Mushroom Swiss burger and a Dutchess that comes with chili and extra onions.

This is where things go wrong. Cedar Creek was absolutely slammed. We waited over an hour for food simply because it was obvious that they were overrun with demand. Still, the food that was coming out of the kitchen looked absolutely amazing.

Then the burgers arrived and things changed. The burgers arrived and looked delicious. However, one bite in and all that we could taste was bread. Two bites in and we tasted bread and a little bit of smoke. Three bites in and we didn't find any other flavor. It was completely dry, if not burnt. The condiments were spread very thin and didn't really add any flavor. A high point? The vegetables were very fresh. Topping the burger with full spears of pickle was especially nice. Unfortunately, the freshness of the vegetables stops impressing once you realize that there is more lettuce on your burger than there is meat.

Did you watch The Matrix? Remember the scene where they are eating protein goop in the ship's dining room? That's what I would imagine the burger tasted like, except burnt. Cedar Creek has officially beaten me in creating a burger inspired by an elephant graveyard in the middle of a desert. Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I don't know if that's the standard burger at Cedar Creek or if the chef was asleep at the wheel, but the ownership should seriously reprimand, if not flat out fire whoever is ultimately responsible for what we were served depending on if what we received was the usual fare. It was a nine dollar burger that made me want nothing more than to go down the street to Burger King and get a Whopper. Sad, but true. I'd rather have a Whopper.

Cedar Creek does have some very tasty food options. We also had an order of their sloppy nachos at the table and an order of fried pickles. They were fantastic. We all agreed that the fried pickles were some of the best that we have ever had and that the nachos were showstopping. I'm already craving a gigantic tray of them not even 24 hours later.

So, what was learned? Cedar Creek is still a fantastic bar. I love it. Everyone that came along liked the atmosphere, the beer selection is great and there are lots of decent food options. We'll all go back. Often. What will we not do? Order a burger. If I needed a burger I'd work the Han Solo angle and smuggle in a #1 combination from Whataburger to go with my beer. Not surprisingly, Cedar Creek is rocking last place on the quest for the best burger in the city. Not even close to any other place that we have been.

The quest goes on...

NOTE: Yes, this post is picture free. While the burgers looked great, they tasted awful, and pictures wouldn't do them any justice. Executive decision. I never claimed I'd be fair. I am interested if anyone else has ever had their burger and would like to chime in with their thoughts about it. Did we get a fluke? Does it always suck? What's the deal?

Mytiburger

Tuesday night burger? You betcha! Today's stop was decided by a recommendation we received at the Houston Burgers twitter account. We were sent to Mytiburger which is at 2211 W 43rd St, see it on the burger map.

You arrive in a parking lot which has nothing but a teeny tiny little burger stand. It's old. You can tell it moved in at least 20 or 25 years ago. It may look like a dive, but it is very clean and well maintained.

Inside the itty-bitty restaurant they have about 3 tables and a booth to complement the 4 picnic tables they have outside. The entire place is decorated in Coca-Cola. The tables, walls, fixtures, even some of the chairs were all branded with the soda, making it pretty obvious I wasn't going to be getting my hands on a Diet Pepsi on this trip. The place is a three person mom and pop operation during peak dinner hour. They had a cook, someone taking the orders and an extra hand running around trying to look busy.

What do we order? The group gets 4 Mytiburgers with cheese. Three of us opted for standard fries but Mytiburger also serves up sweet potato fries and one of us grabbed an order of those. Then Coca-Cola and Diet Coke all around. We had to go easy on the sodas though, Mytiburger charges 50 cents for a refill and they sure do put a lot of ice in your cup. We grabbed a table outside to enjoy the arrival of some cooler weather and began the wait.

Ten minutes of waiting were rewarded with two little white lunch sacks packed with burgers and fries. We divied it out and quickly began chowing down. What were we rewarded with? One of the absolute best old-fashioned burgers we've ever had. I need to stress the word old-fashioned. This isn't the best burger that we've had on this trip, but much like Otto's Barbecue, these burgers have that classic flavor that you can only really seem to get from older, more traditional burger stands. You could draw a good comparison with Whataburger. The Mytiburger tastes exactly like the absolute best Whataburger that you could ever put in your mouth, the Nick creature even declared that the burger was probably exactly what the W tasted like back when it was a little burger stand in Corpus Christi. Every single item I could touch on compares almost exactly to Whataburger. The bun, the veggies, the patty, everything is just like Whataburger only a little bit better. Even the grease level was about the same. Bonus points? They don't put mayo on their burgers. Mustard only. Other burger joints should take some notes.

The french fries were standard, fat, plain fries. I had to douse mine in salt, pepper and ketchup to give them any flavor. More bonus points? Old school red ketchup squeezebottles. Even more bonus points? It was nearly empty so I could make a few immature fart jokes. Unlike the regular fries, the sweet potato fries were, to sum it up in a word, badass. Crispy, thin and a refreshing change to the usual fries and onion rings. I recommend that anyone who hits up Mytiburger try them at least once.

The verdict? As we've already noted, this burger is fantastic, but it didn't hit home enough to make us declare it the best burger in Houston. It lands smack dab in the middle of all of the competition so far, although for a more classic tasting burger, you cant go wrong with Mytiburger. Wait, last minute bonus points? Yes. Ladies, if you ever need a burger with a view, Mytiburger is conveniently right next door to a fire station. The girls didn't seem to have much to contribute to the conversation during the meal... almost as if they were distracted by something. Just sayin'.....

See you next week!!

(UPDATE 9/3/2009: We stand corrected. Sources say this building came outta the 50's.)

Goodson's Cafe

We were fast approaching deadline this week and had to get to a burger joint fast. So we jump on 249, a freeway that has yet to get any love on the site, and we went out in search of the American classic. We ended up stopping at Goodson's Cafe, which is a restaurant I have been to several times in my day because they are known for having one of the best chicken fried steaks money can buy. We decide to go inside and test the burger.

When we get in, you instantly realize that you are in a southern restuarant. The place is lined with anything and everything cowboy related that you can imagine. We are seated in a booth and handed menus that boast about two things. They claim to serve the world's best chicken fried steak and then they also plug the world's best double bacon cheeseburger. Nick orders one and I opt for the mushroom/grilled onion burger while our lady friends order up their world famous chicken fried steaks.

The burgers made their way to the table and as soon as they were put in front of us we knew we were in for something special. The grease was already bleeding out all over the plate. What was inside the bleeding corpse? The "world famous" burger was 2 patties totaling one pound of ground beef, a griddle toasted bun, lettuce, pickle, and sauteed onions with mayonnaise. The mushroom burger I ordered was the same thing except minus one of the half pound patties and with mushrooms, of course. I also opted for mustard because mayonnaise is terrible. It was time to dig in!

Upon first bite we knew we had stumbled upon something special. We hadn't even really planned on going to this restaurant any time in the near future, but almost as if by providence we both wound up with a mouthful of one of the most heavenly cheeseburgers we had ever tasted. Before even swallowing that first bite we were talking, with our mouths full, about how this burger had just bested every other burger that we've tasted thus far. The grease was everywhere. Napkins couldn't fly fast enough. The grilled onions were caramelized and seasoned to give off a little bit of a sweet flavor while the patty contrasted with a somewhat peppery, very intense, and very juicy beef flavor that just about blew the brains out of the backs of our skulls. All this time, the buckets of grease combined the flavors throughout the toppings, spread and bun resulting in a taste that will roll your eyes into the back of your head. Best burger we have had so far.

We almost need to award a prize over the fact that Goodson's Cafe is the first burger joint out of all of the places we have been to that actually cooked a burger medium when ordered. Everywhere else we have been has just cranked out medium-well as if born to do it, no matter what you ordered. Some of these places you could tell them to just run some raw meat on a plate through a warm room and you'd still get medium well. Not Goodson's. You get what you want.

How were the side dishes? The french fries, while looking very plain in the photo, were fried to a nice crispy finish. They weren't as gamechanging as their burger was, but they were delicious, which is refreshing because minus the Backyard Grill, we've found that the better the burger the worse the fries.

So, what are you waiting for? If you are craving a cheeseburger, you need to head out 249 towards Tomball and sink your teeth into one of Houston's finest. Check the burger map for the location and enjoy.