Kilburn's Tavern and Grille

Kilburn's Tavern and Grille was nowhere near our list of places that we were planning on reviewing anytime soon. Why? We don't do a whole lot of bar burgers. In fact, the only place that I can think of off the top of my head that was more bar than restaurant is Christian's Tailgate. Plus they spelled Grill wrong. Why did we go? Last minute hunger pains and a last minute recommendation by a friend. We piled into the nearest Toyota Tacoma and burned rubber out into the boonies to Kilburn's #2, which is at Grant Rd and Malcolmson.

Having never been, and walking into a bar in a strip center, we didn't really expect the place to be the classy, slightly upscale British pub atmosphere that was presented. The place was warm, welcoming and stocked to the brim with an almost barbaric selection of hooch. There are plenty of tables if you want to go there to just eat or you can belly up to the bar and go right to work. As a note, the restaurant is family friendly all day with the only exceptions being after 9pm on Friday and Saturday and any time that I'm in there. Bring yo' kids!!

Burgers? Yes, please. What is in a standard burger at Kilburn's? The menu describes a half pound beast that has been spoiled since birth that's been hunted down on a farm, killed, carefully inspected by the USDA and ground into Kobe beef. The beef is hand formed into patties with a blend of smoked sausage and "Kilburn's Special Seasoning" that's all put through a shotgun wedding by a sourdough bun. I opted for the blue cheese burger and Nick threw down on a Texas BBQ bacon cheeseburger. If there are any questions about that, this meant that mine would have blue cheese and onions while the BBQ burger had bacon, a tangy barbecue sauce and two very large onion rings.

In strict adherence to the rules, we had beers from the state of Texas with our meal. Kilburn's immediately found it's way to my heart by having Saint Arnold's Christmas Ale on draft. You can never go wrong with having the best Winter warmer in existence fresh out of a keg, and they even got bonus points for having oversized pilsner glasses ready to go.

The burgers themselves were incredible. It begins and ends with the patty. If you were to put their seasoning in a can of Purina One dog food, I'd probably consider still eating it. Their special seasoning is a peppery blend that is far from hot but not short at all on flavor. I thought I had tasted mild, pickled jalapenos but I was quickly corrected by the owner, who as it turns out was sitting two bar stools down from us the entire time we had been there. What is it? Chipotle peppers... among other secret flavors.


The seasoning was the main attraction, but that's not the only part of this burger that deserves any praise. The lightly toasted bun was flavorful and did a fantastic job of holding together where most buns that go up against a sandwich like this go down like Kimbo Slice, leaving you with a choice of forks or fingers. The french fries were all sorts of incredible. Wedge-cut, seasoned perfectly, crispy on the outside and nice and soft on the inside. It was a near perfect example of a wedge fry.

It's hard to find anything to complain about. The price is a little higher than most places, but that certainly doesn't keep the burgers from flying out of the kitchen all night. It's also a great place to have a few drinks, which made this by far the most expensive burger review I've ever done, and also the first one that's ever resulted in needing a few ibuprofen's the next morning. Yes, I used a designated driver. You stay safe out there.

In closing, Kilburn's is awesome. Did we decide it hits the top three that we've ever had? Nope. Does that mean it isn't a fantastic creation? Absolutely not. You should shut down your computer and go grab yourself a chop house burger and slam a few beers as soon as you get your next craving. Our bartender for the night, who must be under witness protection with a name like "Princess", summed it up best:

Bellaire Broiler

Welcome back to the stage of history. So what happens if you spend a Saturday morning working on Bellaire and you have a place on your "To Review" list called the Bellaire Broiler?

We've heard the legends all the way out here in our home base in Cypress. A little dive of a burger restaurant that serves up one of the most acclaimed burgers in the city. Dive status? Confirmed. This place is like an old, double-sized Waffle House. Old brick on the walls, all the art is starting to turn yellow from age and the wood on the chairs has only about 60% of the finish left on it. Perfect.

Hunger pains ran deep, and the menu featured two items that peaked our attention. One was the house special. A double cheeseburger that features two quarter pound patties with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles cheese and bacon. I had to have it. I also needed pickled jalapenos and mushrooms. What else caught our attention? A burger called "The Combination" It was a quarter pound cheesebuger that also had chili, cheese, onions, mustard, bacon and two hot dogs. See the picture and beg for mercy.

Just look at it. The picture of it tells you everything you need to know. This was a case of a picture being worth every word that you could say about it. It tasted as glorious as it looked. It was the best chili burger that we have tried so far on this Houstonian burger tour. We aren't going to review this burger in depth though because it's only fair that Bellaire Broiler be judged based on their standard cheeseburger.

The standard cheesebuger comes out of the kitchen wrapped up tightly in unassuming white butcher paper. No time for foreplay. Tear that paper off and let's get to what's underneath.

It was an incredible sight. If that isn't a showstopping image of a cheeseburger, then I simply don't know what is. It was a burger that you had to squeeze to fit into your mouth. Then you squeezed it. Then there was grease. You don't really realize just how greasy this burger is at first. The burger is so large and so loaded with toppings that you almost instinctively keep the burger wrapped in the butcher paper as you operate. That is, until the grease overpowers the butcher paper and you are forced to toss it off to the side. Then you keep eating. Then the bun gives up on life and you are forced to set it aside. Then you have the choice of shoveling it into your mouth or tracking down some silverware. Me? I barehanded it. It was sublime.

So what about the taste? Do you like a greaseburger? If so, this is DEFINITELY your port of harbor. Of all of the burger joints that we have been to so far, this is by far and away the greasiest burger that we have had. Every pain that you walk in the door with in your empty stomach will quickly find it's way into your chest by the time you are done eating it. The toppings are very plentiful, and they even pickle some of their own vegetables in house if you are feeling just a little different and are willing to pay a little extra.

Side dishes? Crinkle fries. We aren't the biggest fan of crinkle fries on this web site, but on the plus side, they fry these potatoes until they beg for mercy. Crinkle fries almost always look soggy, but even the biggest, fattest fries here were crisp enough that my HMO called and said they canceled my dental coverage. Apply ketchup and you'll enjoy some pretty decent french fries.

So how does Bellaire Broiler rank? On our web site we only put up a top three. After that, we tell you whether or not we like it and we let everyone judge for themselves. We agreed at lunch today that IF there were a spot for a #4, this would be it until something came along that was better. We agree that this place is just barely squeaked out by the Backyard Grill, which is our current number 3. Should you check it out and judge for yourself? Absolutely. Bellaire Broiler is a jewel of a burger joint. This is definitely one of the elite burger stops in Houston and you should sail into the parking lot any time you are nearby and have the chance to stop.

Christian's Tailgate

Christian's Tailgate, much like Lankford Grocery, is heralded as one of the finest burgers that Houston has to offer. Most people that I have talked to that recommend the place either claim it's one of the best they've ever had or that it's a staple that we simply have to make sure we don't ignore. It's about time the reviews came back, and Christian's seemed as good a place as any to go throw down on some cow.


There are two Christian's locations in Houston. One is on Bagby and the other is at I-10 and Washington. Being from the 'burbs, and being told that the one on Washington is better, we set sail. When you get there, you quickly put together that Christian's is the definition of a burger bar. You walk in and it offers a lot of restaurant style seating, but the place is more bar than restaurant. You order your burgers at the bar, along with your pitcher of beer, and then you find your seat and wait for your number to be called. The decor includes lots of small screen TV's around the place, beer signs and a really cool old truck that's been hacked up and thrown on the wall. Get there early, as parking seems like it could get hairy during busier hours.

Their menu stretches 3 sizes of burger: 1/3 lb, 1/2 lb and a belt-busting 1 lb double burger. They offer them in your standard dress of lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, mustard and mayo as well as a chili burger or a mushroom-swiss combination. If you're looking for something a little different, and a little more heart stopping, they also offer up a Chicken Fried Bacon Burger. The burger is your standard burger that is loaded with battered and fried bacon and onion rings. Nick wasn't about to let a little heart disease stand in his way and threw down for one of these beastly creations while I opted for a more subtle mushroom swiss burger. Both of us ordered a side of fries and with it being $5 pitcher Wendesday we enjoyed a pitcher of Texas's own Lone Star and then another of Shiner Bock with our meal.

The burgers that came out looked fantastic. Great big patties adorned with generous toppings and packed between thick buns that are then half-wrapped in butcher paper to keep them from falling apart. Good call on the paper. I've always been a fan of anything that makes finger food easier to handle.

That first bite? It lacked a little something. Grease. Considering the huge griddle that we saw in the kitchen we were expecting these things to run down our arms, but they were really clean. The meat tasted great. It didn't seemed to be seasoned at all, maybe with just a little salt and pepper, but it left behind a clean, distinct flavor that actually left room for all of the toppings to actually be able to do some work. I'd tread lightly with using the word bland, because the overall flavor was far from it, but I wouldn't ever want to knife and fork the patty by itself. This is where the toppings came into play. The mustard works its way into the lettuce and tomatoes, the pickles were thick and vinegary and in each bite you really got to appreciate why people actually bother putting veggies on their sandwiches. Most of the time a big, fat, nasty greaseburger will simply overwhelm the palate and all you taste is delicious, juicy fat. This was the opposite. An explosion of different and very distinct flavors await the person who eats at Christian's.

As a person who has had homemade chicken fried bacon on a few occasions in my life, the prospect of a burger with chicken fried bacon actually on it sounded both terrible and awesome. I remember the first time I ever had it I ate 3 pieces of it drizzled in bacon grazy and was only capable of stumbling around the house for a few hours as I fought off The Itis. The chicken fried bacon here did leave a little to be desired. Yes, it's delicious. It's bacon that is battered and fried. But, much like the mostly pure burger, there couldn't have been anything in the batter except flour, milk and egg. This produced a product that tasted more like oil than any kind of fancy deep fried concoction that you might hope for. It was also definitely cooked a lot less than we were used to compared to every other time we've had the CFB. How about the burger? Put it all together and it once again leaps to something wonderful, but it just seems like there is so much room for improvement.

The burgers were cooked well, not well done, but well. They were far from dry, in fact, for how cooked the meat was I was suprised at just how juicy the burger was. The bun was definitely prefabbed, but seemed to be very lightly toasted on the griddle and did a fine job of not leaving anything to be desired. Recommendations? Double up on your toppings. Next time I eat here it will probably be the same burger, but with double cheese and double mushrooms.

The fries? Absolutely terrible. Wendy's on a bad day levels of terrible. I was salvaging mine with salt, pepper and ketchup mixed with Jalapeno Tabasco sauce. This was able to pull them back from the cliff, but still, Christian's Tailgate is definitely not the place to go if you are a fry fanatic. They also offer onion rings, but neither of us ordered them. A visual inspection of someone else's basket of rings did leave me with some hope that there is a side dish in there worth ordering.

How would we rank this burger? It was really good. In fact, if you live near it, it should probably be your de facto burger place. It's a great place to eat if you are working in the area, looking for a place to stop and wait out traffic or just want to eat somewhere a little different. You don't really need much of an excuse. Unfortunately, our final judgement does leave it out of the top three. It simply doesn't stand up to the best we've had so far. Our comparisons would be that it was like a really good burger from Clay's or maybe a burger from Miller's with all the grease left out. All we can say is that if you go to Christian's you'll be treated to a damn good burger. Just not the best. Check them out and let us know what you think!!

Rockwell Tavern and Grill

UPDATE (11/15/2011):  We said some rough things about Rockwell Tavern in some posts and tweets since their original review. Statements that we stand by and statements that we aren't going to remove. Since ownership changed we had a total of four meals at Rockwell that were average or worse. I had a chicken sandwich at one time that was so hard you could literally brain a person with it. The burgers? They'd fallen off. Hard. BUT GOOD NEWS: Rockwell did a Houston Beer Week event and I was lured back in with the promise of bottom-feeding some leftover of Rahr & Sons Casked Winter Warmer the next day, and in the course of drinking some beers, I was convinced to give the burgers another go.

Without going into too many details, I am pleased to say that Rockwell once again makes a fantastic burger that lives up to its legacy and I highly recommend stopping in. Their beer selection has gotten really nice too, although shockingly, they appear to have gone the route of forsaking any light beers whatsoever. Even I enjoy a Keystone Light or a Miller Lite ever so often, and I think every place that serves beer should have something at a value price, but I digress, go chow down.

ORIGINAL REVIEW FOLLOWS:
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It's been awhile. It's time to get back on the burger wagon.

I must apologize in advance. This review has zero pictures. The place wasn't well lit enough for cell phone cameras and the regular camera had a dead battery. This is a shame, because this is one of the first times I can remember where the burgers that were brought out of the kitchen looked just as good as the burgers on the menu. Fortunately, we will definitely be back, and we hope to get some pictures of these burgers out to you soon. UPDATE 5/12/2010: Got a new camera, took that sucker to Rockwell, ate a fat cheeseburger, and collected some pics. ENJOY!!

So, we decided to go to the Rockwell Tavern. The original reason we went was simply because it was right next to PO's Burgers. Both of them have signs out front claiming that they had the world's best burger, and it sounded like we needed to go in there and settle it for ourselves, and for the rest of the world. Then, when we decided to fire it back up yesterday we found this glowing review from Houston Press and were suddenly watering at the mouth to get out to Rockwell.

Rockwell Tavern is located in Cypress, within a few miles of Highway 290 and Telge. It's in a very unassuming location smack dab in the middle of a small strip center. Inside are about fifteen or twenty tables, a bar, and a little standing room only area between the two. Tonight when we went in we quickly noticed that the combination of a Tuesday night and Houstonians acting like it doesn't get cold this time of year had the place completely empty. We took our seats and had the full attention of the entire restaurant staff, who were very friendly, for a large portion of our visit.

The restaurant itself is a dive. Not a big deal. It is clean, but the furnishings are old and the decor is definitely "average bar". The exception? The restrooms are decked out in old car parts. The best little touch? The stall in the men's restroom has badging for Dodge's 5.7 liter Hemi engine. It has a strong "you knew what this was when you came in here" kind of vibe.

On their menu they have a ton of custom burgers. Several that break the usual trend. They have burgers with a fried egg, burgers with teriyaki and pineapple, italian style burgers with marinara sauce and even a burger called the "El Diablo" that is so hot that you have to sign a waiver to eat it, but the reward is a free t-shirt. (Next time, honey.)

Our party of three sat down and ordered up an Iron Man burger, a Swiss Goddess and a Samurai burger. The Iron Man was the definitive spicy chili burger. It had a GLOB of habanero-spiced chili, jalapenos and cheese. The Swiss Goddess was a mushroom swiss burger that was advertised as a "pile of mushrooms and cheese" that was very true to its word, and the Samurai burger had Bacon, Pineapples thrown in with a sweet teriyaki sauce. All of them came armed with a 1/2 pound, hand formed patty and was served on a custom sweet sourdough roll.

No time to wait, time to eat. That first bite was a showstopper. The guys at Rockwell don't play generic cheeseburger. Every single flavor that they tell you is on the menu shows up with it's A-game. The flavors are all incredibly rich, which allows you to taste every single ingredient almost seperately. Different parts of your tongue are firing different sparks directly into your brain, all screaming for more. By the time I got to the center, where all the ingredients are concentrated the most, we had all agreed that we had just taken on the best burger we've ever eaten. Not just in Houston, not just on this burger quest, it's the best burger any of us have ever had. Period. And another period for good measure.

Eating it was interesting. The chili burger had entire ladle-fulls of chili with a little habanero kick, so it had to be eaten mostly with a fork. The bun stood no chance of holding back firepower of that magnitude. I almost had the same situation with my burger. By the time I was done with the Samurai burger I had delicious pieces of teriyaki pineapple and bacon ready for my fork and the bun spent the entire time on life support due to the pineapple juice. The mushroom swiss burger left a trail of delicious sauteed mushrooms behind it simply because the bun could not contain them all.

Side dishes? Good news, it gets even better. They have, hands down, some of the best onion rings I have ever had. They are fried up crispier than any onion ring I have ever had, and still aren't burned at all, and the onion doesn't shrivel up and disappear either. The french fries are well above average, nothing too special, but still damn good, and then to top it all off they also have some rocking sweet potato fries.

Stop reading this site and go to Rockwell Tavern and Grill. The quest for the best burger in Houston continues, but we don't know how these burgers could possibly be topped!!! We have adjusted the top 3 on the sidebar. You are now looking at the Rockwell Tavern as the best followed up by Miller's Cafe and then The Backyard Grill.

Miller's Cafe

I feel like I have a confession to make before I write this review. Going into this burger quest, I already had 2 heavy favorites. Shuttle Burger and Miller's Cafe, both places that we didn't go to right away because I wanted to cleanse my palate before going back to my old favorites. Miller's Cafe has a lot of sentimental value for me. They used to have a location in Alief that I used to go to with my grandparents when I was a kid with dreams of tacking a belt-busting double burger.

Now Miller's has three locations that I know of and a fourth that I can't confirm. One is in the Medical Center in Scurlock Tower, one is on Shephard just north of 610, one on Bay Area Blvd way down in League City and there is apparently a fourth in downtown, I'm thinking it may be in the tunnel. The Miller's I usually go to these days is the one on Shephard, and I often end up at the one in the Med Center when I land some work out there, but this review takes place at the one way out in League City.

Nick and I were part of a massive operation on Saturday and Sunday. Clear Creek ISD had a computer virus issue and we both shipped out to go be a part of the solution. Lunchtime came on Saturday and I immediately perked up stating that this was our opportunity to hit up Miller's. We dragged about twenty people into the little burger joint and went to work on getting some cheeseburger goodness.

Miller's is a tried and true burger joint. The menu is hamburger, cheeseburger, mushroom burger, bacon buger, jalepeno burger, chili burger, combinations of the former burgers, doubled up versions of the former burgers and a select few items like chicken sandwiches and a philly cheesesteak. There's a blurry picture on the bottom if you are curious. I ordered up a mushroom swiss burger and Nick brought all guns to bear on a double bacon cheeseburger. I have no idea what Nick drank, but mine was going down the esophageal waterslide with some Diet Pepsi.

Their burgers are massive. You really don't need to bother ordering fries. Even the single patty burger pushes a solid half pound brick of meat with very generous amounts of toppings that are obviously just dropped on by the handful with their standard spread of the popular mustard/mayo combination.

That first bite? It's throws you off a little. It's really good, but the flavor is pretty unique. I have a hard time even coming up with adjectives to describe the flavor that is somehow imparted into the meat outside of generic words like scrumptious. Then you take a second bite and realize that it's for real. It becomes immediately obvious that you just bit into a burger that isn't just a handful of plain or lightly seasoned meat, this stuff is greased up with a fantastic rub, dropped on a hot griddle that sears all of the juices into it and wrapped in the only thing that can contain it... a fresh baked bun that absorbs all the greasy goodness like a sponge and then 2 pieces of butcher paper to ensure that all of it is contained..

They serve up some above average french fries, nothing you'll write home about, but nothing that will dissapoint you. I haven't ever tried the onion rings, and it was Nick's first venture into a Millers and he also downed the fries.

So the ranking? Hell yes it's the best burger so far. We do agree that it only barely edges out the Backyard Grill, which was back on top for a few mere days now that Goodson's has let us down twice in a row after our one amazing experience, leading us to decide that justice must prevail and to dethrone our champion.

Goodson's: Updated

Quick and dirty -- Goodson's is officially dethroned. We have been back two times since we had what we declared was the best burger we've had so far in the city and have found nothing but disappointment. The burger is still good, but it certainly isn't the best, and therefore, we hereby declare that Goodson's is still a decent burger, but no longer in the Top 3. Go get their chicken fried steak instead. It's still a showstopper.

Welcome back to the top Backyard Grill. New top 3 are Backyard Grill, P.O.'s Burgers and Otto's Barbecue. Will it last?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Cedar Creek

After a week off, the craving struck again. Needed a burger. What kind of burger? A big, fat nasty (read: juicy and delicious) bar-style burger. We started a short list of bars that we wanted to go hit that we knew served burgers and quickly dwindled it down to Cedar Creek, mostly because it's my absolute favorite beer spot in Houston.

Cedar Creek is a bar among bars. It's tucked back from the main roads, surrounded by lots of big trees and has a huge patio that literally pulls up right to a creek. They have a really nice draft wall including several Texan beers, including 4 kinds of Shiner, 4 kinds of Saint Arnold, Lone Star, and heck, you can even get a can of Pearl if you want it. The weather has been absolutely amazing so the need to sit on that patio and chew some cow while sipping on Shiner Hefeweizen was on the front of my mind.

Our group rolled into Cedar Creek right at dusk on a Wednesday night. We quickly learned that half of the city also had the need to drink beers on the best bar patio in town and spent a few minutes fighting for a table. We got ourselves to a picnic table and grabbed some menus. Lots of burger options. We dropped our order in for a Blue Hog burger that is topped with blue cheese and bacon, a Mushroom Swiss burger and a Dutchess that comes with chili and extra onions.

This is where things go wrong. Cedar Creek was absolutely slammed. We waited over an hour for food simply because it was obvious that they were overrun with demand. Still, the food that was coming out of the kitchen looked absolutely amazing.

Then the burgers arrived and things changed. The burgers arrived and looked delicious. However, one bite in and all that we could taste was bread. Two bites in and we tasted bread and a little bit of smoke. Three bites in and we didn't find any other flavor. It was completely dry, if not burnt. The condiments were spread very thin and didn't really add any flavor. A high point? The vegetables were very fresh. Topping the burger with full spears of pickle was especially nice. Unfortunately, the freshness of the vegetables stops impressing once you realize that there is more lettuce on your burger than there is meat.

Did you watch The Matrix? Remember the scene where they are eating protein goop in the ship's dining room? That's what I would imagine the burger tasted like, except burnt. Cedar Creek has officially beaten me in creating a burger inspired by an elephant graveyard in the middle of a desert. Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I don't know if that's the standard burger at Cedar Creek or if the chef was asleep at the wheel, but the ownership should seriously reprimand, if not flat out fire whoever is ultimately responsible for what we were served depending on if what we received was the usual fare. It was a nine dollar burger that made me want nothing more than to go down the street to Burger King and get a Whopper. Sad, but true. I'd rather have a Whopper.

Cedar Creek does have some very tasty food options. We also had an order of their sloppy nachos at the table and an order of fried pickles. They were fantastic. We all agreed that the fried pickles were some of the best that we have ever had and that the nachos were showstopping. I'm already craving a gigantic tray of them not even 24 hours later.

So, what was learned? Cedar Creek is still a fantastic bar. I love it. Everyone that came along liked the atmosphere, the beer selection is great and there are lots of decent food options. We'll all go back. Often. What will we not do? Order a burger. If I needed a burger I'd work the Han Solo angle and smuggle in a #1 combination from Whataburger to go with my beer. Not surprisingly, Cedar Creek is rocking last place on the quest for the best burger in the city. Not even close to any other place that we have been.

The quest goes on...

NOTE: Yes, this post is picture free. While the burgers looked great, they tasted awful, and pictures wouldn't do them any justice. Executive decision. I never claimed I'd be fair. I am interested if anyone else has ever had their burger and would like to chime in with their thoughts about it. Did we get a fluke? Does it always suck? What's the deal?